Mind on Air, Emotions Mute

I never write about politics. Simply because I do not possess the ability to think and analyze politically.

But this time I came to take some things on a political board, through a personal grievance.

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Last weekend I spent with my family, as usually rare it happens.

My reputation has been totally damaged with no atonement or redemption.

Well, I have, ahem, used to have a good reputation among my neighbors as being a helping hand for school kids. My weekend visits almost turned into a festival for some families. Weekend was a time when parents could relax and easily rely on a next-door girl (me) to help their kids with their homework.

Of all the kids, I have my favorite one. He is 10 years of age. He has wavy chocolate hair, deep sad eyes and a dimple on one of his cheeks.  Aside from his almost candy looks, he is unique and very different from his peers (and parents) in his ability to think and react.  

This typical weekend he came to me and asked to check an essay he wrote for his English language class. The essay was about “What will I be when I grow up”. Throughout my life I have read (unwillingly) hundreds of similar-theme essays but this one was an absolute pleasure to read. My favorite boy wanted to become a President and make people live in a harmony, freely and happily. At this point I made a big mistake by proposing him to insert some ideas about planting trees rather than constructing ugly monuments; about not arresting young people who were active and eager to make changes in a society. My boy looked up at me, raised his eyebrows, smiled and then left home.

A few days later my mobile (which is always turned off at worst, or has low battery at best) began ringing. And it rang not as usual, but in an unfriendly and intolerant way. But maybe, it’s just me to exaggerate. Anyway.

My boy’s mama (angrily?!) asked me if I ever think before I say something. I paused for a moment (just to think before I say something to her) and then said that normally yes, but there are times when I say something without thinking, literally blurt out. She raised her voice a few pitches high and said that with my strange ideas I cause a problem to her family and almost jeopardize her hubby’s social status (hubby “seats” in the municipality), I am a bad lawyer who does not read newspapers (newswhat??) and that I should think of getting married soon as my unbearable temper could lead me in a wrong way. (Why???) My boy’s essay in its final draft (with my ideas) was not censored by his folks and went public in the class. After my boy’s angry mama’s monologue, I felt wasted and had to stuff it.

Our society is still immature. Our parents themselves train us to be silent about social problems. Our teachers suppress all forms of creative and critical thinking. Our elders prefer to hide and avoid a problem, rather than look at its face and solve it. We have an ulcer. Instead of healing it, we let it spread all over our body and brain and paralyze our conscience.

That was when I started to intensely think about Emin and Adnan. I came to be proud of their parents,teachers and elders. I became curious about books they have read. I got jealous of friends they have, as they were lucky to know these great men personally.

Now it hurts very much that they are in prison. Their great time of lives has been stolen. Their summer has been taken away. Their parents spend sleepless nights. They have been deprived to enjoy their work, make mistakes, hang out with youth and talk to them. Their email inboxes are flooded with messages and run out of extra space.

But they keep on inspiring youth. They are hoping and planting seeds of liberty. They are spiritually free despite that their physical freedom is limited.

And none of governmental creeps with their rat brains and manky hands will ever be able to silence the voice that comes from deep within and echoes with high decibels of humanity and liberty capable to tear creeps’ guts out.  

I think of my future now. How will it be? Will it come at all given the society I live in. Will I be arrested one day? My kids I will have.. if ever. I have no idea who will be their father(s), which school they will go to, what profession they will choose.

All I know is I want them to be hooligans like Emin and Adnan.